Thursday, 6 June 2013

Existential Solipsism from the Scheme (inspired by Andrew Brennan)

How should Eh hae tae learn mair things,
When Eh ariddy ken enough,
How should Eh worry what tomorrows bring,
When thir might no be enough.

How should Eh fret ower whit you feel,
When thir’s naebody here but me,
How would you spend yer time theday,
If ye kent what it was tae be free.

Eh, but thir’s somebody else wha’s relle-in on you,
There’s mair tae the picture than that,
It’s responsibilities plague yer life,
No’ questions o’ that, an a' that.

How should Eh dae whit you waant me tae dae,
Wha gies somebody else they rights,
How should Eh live a life o’ no consequence,
When beauty’s eyewiz right in ma sights.

Oh but it’s consequence ye got when ye made a life,
An food on the table is needed.
Suppose there’s plenty o' berries in the park,
But  the tatties appear tae hae seeded.

Eh, but yer happy tae hae yer car and yer phone,
And yer thousand pound compute,
Ye stopped at the station and goat right aff,
And gied up yer right tae commute.

Well, wll bide in a tent an gie up this life,
We can bring up the wee ains wi pride. 
How should wi no’? Are ye ready to go?
Are ye so share will end up inside?

It’s no goin inside that Eh’m bothered aboot,
It’s the state o’ what’s inside o’ you,
Ah yer philosophy’s everbeen’s  jist excyase,
Fir bone-idle banter an spew.

How should we  hae tae pit up wi each other,
When wi baith ken wi baith can dae better,
Ye wir never a wife, only ever a mother,
Tae me jist a constant sare fetter.

How should you hae tae get aff yer arse?
How should you hae tae bring in the beef?
How do you ken that there’s anyone here?
Here’s how! Bang! Did ye feel that Chief?

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